Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Jealous anyone......

The definition of jealous is


  1. Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
  2. Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.
This is what I am feeling. I had to endure another girl who is pg at work and wasn't trying just got married and blah blah blah. I am happy for her but at the sametime equally jelaous. I can not be fake and say I am so happy and not jealous at all I would be lying to myself. I am jealous plain, pure and simple. Downright JEALOUS. I forgot to mention my best friend who I work with is pg also and I would have been due two weeks before her. So I get to see her go through something I should of been going through at the same time, what joy for me. Did I forget to mention she wasn't trying also? WTF. I have done everything gotten married, have a house, in a great place in my life. It just isn't fair. I hate hearing it will happen when it will. Well when, I feel like I am waiting in line for my number to be called and I do not have the patience. God left out that attribute out when creating me. I want this so bad I could boil over. I hate that  at work I have to hear woman  say I didn't want this pg, have 3 kids and one on the way and be like 21. UGHHHH!!!!  When will my number be called?

Onto other news I start  my first round of 50mg clomid tomorrow yay for moving through the cycle!!!!
Well till next time GL and baby dust to all and to all a good night!!!!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Cycle is ......

Finally here!!!! After I pick my uterus up off the floor, thank you!!! She came swiftlyy and fierce!!! I am excited go get onto the next cycle and I hope I can keep this happy momentum going in this journey. So I will start clomid on Thursday. I started charting and taking temps and I will use opk's this month and we will just relax and see. I am excited about fall and drink cider, wine and some good woodchuck!!!

So other than that my oldest daughter had a broken heart this weekend and my DH went to walgreens and got her fav chocolate covered cherries and was her shoulder to cry in how sweet. He is the best. Weekend was great DH worked all day which was a bummer and the sunday was the usual sunday dinner at my Nan's house who is 90 and is full of life!!! Love her anyways I have a busy week ahead back to school night etc etc!!! Working this weekend which sucks too. Till next time GL and baby dust

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Monday, September 17, 2012

Have you seen her?

Have you seen the witch? If so please send her my way!!!! She is probably so lost her head is spinning. I hate waiting for af because I don't ever have AF symptoms, no cramping nothing I usually spot the day before or just wake up full blown but nada,nothing,zilch. Ughhhh. Well anyway I no there is no way I am pg since our BD has let well let me just put it this way no up too par!!! since returning from honeymoon to enormous TV 55" courtesy of my Uncle(who is my dad's
brother and since my dad passed away 12 years ago is like my dad now) my DH has been kidnapped by the TV while watching football or playing video games with the girls. I end up going to bed before him and asleep by the time he comes to bed. His work also has him extremely stressed out no good. I just want this next cycle to start already it's like I am at the start line and waiting for the signal to go so frustrating:((((

So i will when the witch has foun her way!!!!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

It's like riding a bike right??

So I made the previous post almost a year ago, my how things have changed!!! I recently got married and suffered through a recent mc in august blah. Well what can I say I started a vlog on youtube I know crazy right but I felt like I had to, I had to be the voice for the couples who have what I have and forgo IVF and try other options. I could not find one person who had a balanced translocation and wasn't doing IVF. I give it to the couples that are doing IVF, the emotional and financial toll it must take but right now in this moment I am where I need to be trying what I am trying and above all having faith. Faith that God brought me and Lenny back together after all these years that we can add/start a family of our own. ( I feel a George Michael song coming on  right here)

  So we are back on the TTC bike. We are pedaling slow right now and coasting. I am awaiting AF to show after my mc on August 17 so hopefully this weekend she arrives. I have always gone back to my 30 day cycle right after my mc but this time watch I won't oh well. I have switched OB/GYN and wish I would of done it sooner, I am in love with my DR and the practice is great, you can access your test results online and he said if I think I am pregnant or just get a BFP come in right away and be seen and have my levels drawn. Thank you Jesus(my Melissa Gorga voice here thanks RHONJ). Also he gave me clomid can a get a whoot whoot my other OB/GYN would not. Love him. So are plan is to try the clomid, low amolyse diet and acupuncture this cycle, temp, and opks!!! Pheww that's alot but hey my eggies aren't getting any younger!!! I also stopped see the RE didn't like the office only saw the DR one time the nurses were rude, I felt like since I am not doing IVF they didn't care about me!!! Plan to see a different RE dr who casme highly recommended by many women at my work after January if need so(hopefully will not need too)So if anyone see that pesky witch send her my way. until next time sticky dust to all and to all a good night!!!!