Monday, October 1, 2012

Exactly where I need to be...

So I went and got acupuncture this morning and it was great. She talked to me in great depth about nutrition and my cycle and I went on and told her about my balanced translocation. So she stuck me with all the needles and at first I was very nervous but it was very calming even for me who is constantly running whether physically or mentally. As I was sitting there I was repeating mantras or daily affirmations that I have read on infertility. Then something hit me I said to myself I am exactly where I need to be. I kept repeating it to myself and it was very comforting. I am exactly where I need to be in my life with a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls who are growing into young women. I am exactly where I need to be in my cycle, I am excited about ovulating and learning more about my body. I kept repeating this affirmation

My body is a fertile place worthy of conception.
I am grateful for and love my body and all it does for me.
My life is a blessing.
My womb is strong and fertile.
My eggs are healthy and developing perfectly.
I have the ability to heal myself.
I feel safe, supported and loved through my fertility journey.
My thoughts are peaceful and calm. (Great for stressful situations)
I am already healing my body, everyday it heals more.
I am grateful that I am a woman.
I support and love my husband (partner) through our fertility journey.
My menstrual cycle connects me to all women.
I am working with my body in a loving way to get my menstrual cycle back.
I am worthy of love, life and happiness.
My womb is a healthy place that will nourish my baby.

and this one

I trust my body.

My body is healthy and young.

New balance is coming to my body now.

My reproductive organs work in perfect harmony with my body to allow an easy conception.

Every time my period comes I rejoice in the fact that my body is functioning correctly.

My hormones are perfectly balanced and my menstrual cycles are becoming more and more regular.

My eggs are healthy and happy to be released during my next/current ovulation. (whichever is applicable)

My body knows how to conceive a healthy baby.

The most perfect egg is preparing to be released by my ovary and the most perfect sperm from my loving husband is preparing to fertilize it.

I allow new beginnings in my life.

I am welcoming my baby to come to my womb.

I didn't memorize them but I read them enough over the weekend that I was reciting some lines from both these affirmations while getting acupuncture. It was so peaceful and calming I indulged in every minute of it.

The season is changing and so is my outlook on my infertility. I am exactly where I need to be on this journey wherever it takes me I will have to accept even if I do not like the outcome. I will accept all things God has in place for me and surrender to his life plan for me and my family. If years go by and I don't bring another child in this world yes my heart will be broken but my husband will be there to put the pieces back together. I will try everything to conceive except for going into debt. If it is not meant to be so be it and that will mean a different walk of life for my husband and me. as season changes so do the phases of parenthood. As my girls get older and need me less for everyday needs, I will get to travel more with my husband and enjoy each other. The thought of this would usually make me want to vomit but what keeps popping in my mind is I am exactly where I need to be in my life right now and it feels great. I know there  might be times of despair but I will get through like I have done before with my darling husband by my side. Do I expect to get pregnant this cycle, no not at all do I hope it happens soon yes, do I feel like it ever will no. January keeps popping in my head it did all morning at acupuncture and maybe that is the month I will produce a genetically normal egg our a balanced one like me. Who knows? All I know is that I am exactly where I need to be.....

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