Monday, August 19, 2013


I have fears lots of them. I have a love hate relationship with my toilet happy that I am peeing all the time scared to see spotting. My boobs  are sore and I am  little nauseous. Hungry all the time not tired but more low energy. Doubts linger in the back of my mind dancing around honestly it is the first thing I think of when I open up my eyes in the morning subconsciously saying in my mind please don't   let there be any color on the tp!!
The longest I have been pregnant besides my two beautiful daughters is 18 days from the time I found out. Today is day 15. Friday can not come sooner. I think back and I am pretty sure that I started spotting with that 18 day pregnancy at day 14. I feel like even writing this I am jinxing myself but I need to get this out. I have not called to make an appt to me there is no need yet I am on the crinone and honestly no Dr is a match for mother nature and God. I am relishing  in this pregnancy well trying too!!! I would rather go in and get and  ultrasound when no guessing  game is involved. Meaning if I am measuring behind at say 8-9 weeks a baby needs to be there no maybe next week. To go in now would just be that cruel game I have played before and too many times before I have been sent yo jail and didn't collect my $200. I want to go in and hit free parking and for that I will wait. Patience is what I need to practice these next few weeks more than I have ever practiced patience before!!! Today I am pregnant!!!


  1. You are right, you are pregnant! I will continue prayers that this pregnancy is a healthy one!

  2. I completely understand this overwhelming fear! That is exactly how I got through those first scary weeks...I looked at myself in the mirror and said "today I am pregnant." I finally realized after making myself sick with worry that there was nothing else I could do. Just get through another day. I'm praying this is it for you!!