Sunday, January 12, 2014
I am superstitious. I feel like an old Jewish Bubby which makes it crazy since I am not Jewish who says don't buy anything till the baby gets here. I am 27 weeks and 4 days. Being honest I still feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. That something horrible is going to happen. We are having a girl and her name is Leah Analyse. My husband wanted his initials so this is what we chose. My uneasiness at times comes across as bitcheness but the real truth is that this seems so unreal. I still can not picture bringing this baby home. Now that she is wiggling around it's the first thing I think of when I open my eyes in the morning. I hold my breath until I feel some type of flutter. Infertility robs you of so much. You think when you get pregnant everything will be happy which to an extent it is but there are those negative thoughts that lightly whisper to you. I just started getting baby items and they are slowly creeping up in the dining room. I keep thinking maybe when everything is in order will those whispers go away? When my house is overflowing with baby items will this anxiety stop? I hope so but probably not until I hold her in my arms.